Hard to Believe: You Gotta Be Kidding Me

In January, Shafkat Munir, 26, was sentenced to 12 months in jail for an attempted hoax in Lancashire County, England, in 2007 after receiving three speeding tickets. Rather than pay the fines, totaling the equivalent of about $350 (and retain his license, since his record was otherwise clean), Munir created his own death certificate to get the charges dismissed. Said an official, "I have never known anyone to go to such lengths (over speeding tickets)." The judge also revoked Munir's license.

News of the Weird has mentioned several times (last in 2001) the federal court order requiring the U.S. Bureau of Indian Affairs to rectify decades' worth of negligence in administering the Indian Trust Fund, which might involve as much as $2.5 billion. Included in a 2001 court order was a prohibition against BIA's maintaining a department website until it proves that it can secure all the records necessary for the court- ordered accounting, and according to a Boston Magazine story in January (reporting on the Bureau's handling of a Massachusetts casino), the agency still lacks department-wide Internet access. However, there is one room on the fourth floor of the Bureau's Washington, D.C., office that is connected to the web, but e-mailers and Googlers have to leave their desks and go to that office.

The victim of a vehicular assault in McMinn County, Tenn., in January (in which his wife allegedly tried to run him over): Mr. King Money Tarzan Jenkins.

Boy Glues Hand to Bed to Avoid School (MSNBC.com version of an Associated Press story).

Headlines That Tell the Whole Story: (1) "Jilted Lesbian Rugby Player Killed Herself After Brutally Beating Lover Who Had Webcam Affair" (Daily Mail (London)). (2) "Man, 75, Hurt While Riding Pet Buffalo" (MSNBC.com version of an Associated Press story). (3) "Boy Glues Hand to Bed to Avoid School" (MSNBC.com version of an Associated Press story).

In January, the parents of Carroll County (Md.) Board of Education candidate Draper Phelps, 28, obtained a protective stay-away order against their son, marking the third consecutive year they felt they needed one. (Phelps lost in the February primary.)

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