Dumb Criminals: Unbelievable, But True

In three instances reported in August, American kids were found living in such filthy squalor and isolation that authorities feared they were nearly as developmentally stunted as feral children raised in the wilderness. A 36-year-old man in Lavonia, Ga., was arrested for having imprisoned his wife and three never-schooled children inside their small trailer home for at least the last three years. And in Burke County, Ga., a woman and 11 never-schooled children were found in a filthy trailer home without electricity or running water. And in Polk County, Mo., six children were found among three families living in a clump of 12 isolated, junk-packed trailer homes with 360 animals and the only water coming from a series of connected garden hoses.

As police cars in Minnetonka, Minn., chased suspected burglar Grayson Clevenger, 27, an officer who knew Clevenger's cell-phone number called to persuade him to give up. Clevenger picked up the phone and, according to officers, yelled, "Dude, I can't talk! I'm being chased by the police!" He was captured a short time later.

Landlord Richard Ott, 30, was arrested in Newark, Del., in August after he finally snapped in anger at his tenants, who were behind in their rent. According to police, Ott hopped into his Hummer in the middle of the night and crashed into the "tenants'" front door.

In July in Brisbane, the Indian-born surgeon known in Australia as "Dr. Death," Jayant Patel, was freed on bail on manslaughter charges, which seems inexplicable since he had fled to the U.S. in 2005 to avoid the charges and only recently had been extradited. Patel's medical license had been revoked in New York and Oregon before he became head of surgery in a short-staffed Australian hospital in 2003 (a job for which a background check was not performed). While Patel was there, at least 17 of his patients died under preventable circumstances, and some nurses said they took to hiding their patients from Patel, who was quoted by one nurse as saying, "Doctors don't get germs." He was also charged with falsifying patient records.

Michael Mahoney, 25, is the most recent rapist (according to police in Somerville, Mass.) to believe he is such hot stuff that he gave his phone number to the victim, certain that he had charmed her into wanting to keep seeing him. Police quickly arrested him in July at home, where he lives with his parents.

Jonathan Williams, 33, was convicted of cocaine possession in England's Guildford Crown Court in July, as jurors rejected his explanation that the pants he had on (containing the cocaine) were not his.

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