truTV: Not Reality. Actuality.

(1) Ada Barak's spa in the northern Israeli town of Talmey El'Azar features a "snake massage" for the equivalent of $70, for which six king snakes or milk snakes slither over the client's body (a therapy said not to be stress-increasing, but stress-reducing, according to a January Reuters dispatch). (2) Another January Reuters dispatch, from Antwerp, Belgium, reported that doctors at the city's Aquatopia animal showcase had scheduled surgery to relieve Mozart, the iguana, of his painful priapism in one of his two functional penises.

Ada Barak's spa in the northern Israeli town of Talmey El'Azar features a "snake massage" for the equivalent of $70, for which six king snakes or milk snakes slither over the client's body (a therapy said not to be stress-increasing, but stress-reducing, according to a January Reuters dispatch).

Another January Reuters dispatch, from Antwerp, Belgium, reported that doctors at the city's Aquatopia animal showcase had scheduled surgery to relieve Mozart, the iguana, of his painful priapism in one of his two functional penises.

News That Sounds Like a Joke: A female chimpanzee, Judy, escaped at the Little Rock (Ark.) Zoo in January and, as she moved about, was observed entering a bathroom, grabbing a brush, and cleaning a toilet. She also wrung out a sponge and cleaned off a refrigerator, according to an Associated Press report.

Retired German farmer Karl Szmolinsky told reporters in January that he had agreed to visit North Korea in April to give tips on how he managed to breed huge rabbits (around 20-25 lbs.), which he believes the Koreans view as one answer to their hunger crisis. He has already sent a sampler of 12 monster rabbits, which should produce 60 offspring a year, with one providing "a filling meal for eight people," he told Der Spiegel.

Science Gone Too Far: A Nottingham University professor warned in January that farmers are now at work in the UK breeding "stress" and "hostility" out of pigs and cows to make them more obedient en route to the slaughterhouse. The professor said the goal of such breeders is to create animal "vegetables."