truTV: Not Reality. Actuality.

In September, a 20-year-old driver admitted several fondling incidents from February to May in Monroe, Wash., but expressed relief that police caught him. "I need to stop," he said, "and I can't do it alone. Once you start, it's hard to stop."

In August two British couples were given sanctions by local councils because their loud, long sex sessions disturbed neighbors. Steve and Caroline Cartwright were issued a noise abatement order by the Sunderland City Council (Caroline: "I do admit I scream and make lots of noise"), and Kerry Norris was fined by the Brighton and Hove City Council for violating a previous sex-noise order with her boyfriend Adam Hinton (a neighbor said their headboard bangs against the wall until 6 a.m.). (Also in August, a neighbor of a swingers' party house in Des Moines, Wash., told a Seattle Times reporter than cries of ecstasy from the house sometimes sound "like a raccoon dying.")

Officer Keith Breiner, suspended from the police force in Beaumont, Texas, for crossing the line during an undercover prostitution sting (that is, he actually had sex), defended himself in an August hearing: "It was a job, sir. I didn't have pleasure doing it." It was, he said, "something I did for the city."

A wave of motorists fondling themselves in drive-thru lanes of Seattle-area espresso stands continues, police said, despite a recent arrest. In August, an employee of Java Girls in Parkland, Wash., disgusted with a bra-wearing man, tossed boiling water in his face (to which he reportedly responded, "Oooh, yeah" and drove off).

In August, the indecent-exposure conviction of a Houston urologist was upheld on appeal despite the doctor's insistence that he is so "small" (2.8 inches) that it would have been impossible for his sex organ to be seen by anyone, even if he had tried to expose himself.

A few days earlier, in Northern Territory, Australia, motorist Brendon Erhardt, 39, was arrested for abusing both the speed limit and himself (by committing, and recording with a front-seat camera, a lewd act while driving).