truTV: Not Reality. Actuality.

Awesome: A woman was detained for shoplifting from a Price Chopper grocery store in February in Rutland, Vt., with about 100 unpaid-for items (including ice cream, meats, and videotapes), all skillfully tucked into her coat, purse, and bag.

A man escaped in February after robbing a Wienerschnitzel drive-thru in North Long Beach, Calif.; identifying him was difficult because he had smeared what appeared to be chocolate pudding over his face. And Edwin Lockhart, 48, had less success than that robbing a Sun Trust bank in Palatka, Fla., receiving a 10-year sentence in April; he was identified despite having stuck several sanitary napkins on his face.

Criminals Thinking Small: An alleged February multi-crime spree by Victor M. Cardoze, 23, all started when he prepaid $3 for gas at Joe's Pond Country Store, then pumped $3.50 worth and pointed a gun at the manager before driving off (West Danville, Vt., February). Robert Boyer, 45, was charged with robbery after asking if he could buy lettuce by the leaf rather than the head, being told no, and walking out with lettuce leaves anyway, in front of a police officer (Little Rock, Ark., December). William W. Bresler, Jr., 56, was taken for psychiatric evaluation after he tried to rob a National City Bank of exactly one cent (Westerville, Ohio, March).

Two women were arrested in February and two men were being sought by police in a failed counterfeit-check scheme in Hickory, N.C.; they were busted because, despite using elaborate computer software to publish bogus checks, none of the four noticed that they had spelled the payer Broyhill Furniture's name as "Boryhill Furmiture."

Least Competent Criminals: According to authorities in Winona, Minn., in February, Carl Fratzke defrauded seven people of a total of $200,000 in a bogus investment in gloves. However, Fratzke (not a very sophisticated investor, himself) then immediately fell for one of the myriad Nigerian scams, blowing the entire $200,000 (plus $550,000 of his own money).

Charles Edward Jones was convicted in February of robbing a Wachovia Bank in Miami, Fla., with the key evidence being a DNA match to two gold teeth that were knocked out of his mouth when he stepped into a street during his getaway and was hit by a school-lunch van. Compounding his lack of clear getaway thinking was the fact that he had just fired his gun into his pants as he tried to stuff it into his waistband.