truTV: Not Reality. Actuality.

Least Competent Criminals: Kevin Russell, 21, was arrested in Hobart, Ind., in February when he went to a Chase Bank and tried to cash a Bank One check for $50,000. The check was signed, "King Savior, King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Servant."

A professional burglar was arrested in the village of Klevan, Ukraine, in February (according to a report from the German news agency DPA) after he broke into a church to steal gold fixtures, fell asleep, got locked in the weekends-only facility for five days, and survived on the only liquid available: sacramental wine.

A petite clerk in her 20s followed on foot the man who snatched her store's cash drawer in Hamilton, Ontario, in February, confronted him and snatched it back. (The man made another try for the cash drawer, but in a tug-of-war, the clerk again prevailed.)

Clenzo Thompson, 45, was arrested in New York City in January after allegedly robbing the same Commerce Bank branch twice in three days, even though the first robbery ended when the chemical dye in the money bag exploded and scared him, because the second robbery ended in exactly the same way. (And three years earlier, Thompson had been caught after another bank robbery after having accidentally dropped his ID on the bank floor.)

Clenzo Thompson, 45, was arrested in New York City in January after allegedly robbing the same Commerce Bank branch twice in three days. The first robbery ended when the chemical dye in the money bag exploded and spooked him, and he apparently failed to learn from that, in that the second robbery's money bag also exploded. (And three years earlier, Thompson had been caught after another bank robbery after having accidentally dropped his ID on the bank floor.)

Kurt Husfeldt, 46, and two others were arrested in Lindenhurst, N.Y., in January in possession of 14 stolen electronic devices that they apparently assumed were cell phones. However, they were global positioning devices from a nearby municipal facility, and police had followed their signals to Husfeldt's home.