truTV: Not Reality. Actuality.

Chutzpah! A judge in Monroe County, N.Y., denied Jerold Ponder's application for a handgun permit, but Ponder is appealing that decision, even though he is currently in jail charged with the shooting death of his pregnant girlfriend. Ponder's best-case defense is that it was just an accident, occurring while he and the girlfriend were target-shooting with a rifle, and that rifle safety is not relevant to his pistol safety-conscious.

Punta Gorda, Fla., inmate James "Happy" Borland, 41, suffered a near-fatal concussion in December from being roughed up by inmates Lemuel "K-Money" Ware, 32, and Corey Andrews, 32, because Borland had accused Ware of stealing his pet spider and renaming it "Pinky." According to a Florida Department of Law Enforcement report, Borland had demanded his spider back, but Andrews intervened. Ware, who said he had purchased the spider fair and square, felt he had to go after Borland because Pinky (in a small box in Ware's shirt pocket) "told" him to.

Robert Paul Rice, serving 1-to-15 years in Utah State Prison, had filed a lawsuit demanding that the prison accommodate him as a vampire by providing special "vampire" meals and conjugal visits that would allow him to partake "in the vampiric sacrament" ["drinking blood"], but an appeals court turned him down in October. A prison spokesman said that no one gets conjugal visits in Utah, blood- drinking or otherwise.