truTV: Not Reality. Actuality.

Many of my young patients think about getting plastic surgery the way they'd think about getting their hair done, explained Dr. David Alessi of Beverly Hills, Calif., who is still amazed at women's willingness to endure "extreme" cosmetic alterations. "Vaginal rejuvenation" (labiaplasty) might be the most sensational procedure, but surgeons also do "forehead implants" and ankle and shoulder liposuction, break and reset jaws to tweak smiles, and lengthen or shorten toes (for "toe cleavage" with certain shoes). Alessi told a Glamour magazine writer for an April story that one 25-year-old recently asked him to "remove" her navel (whereas most umbilicoplasty patients merely request reshaping). Said a bemused colleague, "There's some consensus about what makes for an attractive ... face, but we have no definition of the ideal navel."

In April retired engineer William Lyttle, 77, was ordered by the town council in Hackney, England, to pay the equivalent of about $560,000 for repairing the damage he has caused to neighbors in his 40-year obsession of digging deep into the ground on his property, causing not only collapses of parts of his own home but in some cases the integrity of surrounding houses and the street. Authorities discovered a maze of tunnels underneath the 20-room house, in addition to the many holes in the yard, into which Lyttle had dumped cars and boats.

An Indonesian man whose skin disorder caused him to grow hideous, root-like tissue that overwhelmed his hands, feet and face, and who was featured on a Discovery Channel program in November, has now lost four pounds' worth of the wart-like growths through surgery and a vitamin A regimen, and at last can grip a pen. American dermatology professor Anthony Gaspari, who is helping him, concluded that he has the human papilloma virus, which normally causes tiny warts, but because of an immune deficiency, the man was unable to restrain their growth.

Austrian director Johann Kresnik's re-interpretation of the classic Verdi opera "A Masked Ball" opened for a limited engagement in Berlin in April, aimed at America's "war and the excesses of American society today," he said. In one scene, against a backdrop of the ruins of the World Trade Center, 35 naked senior citizens danced, wearing Mickey Mouse masks.

Update: Experimental "natural orifice" surgery might be health care's next big thing following its U.S. introduction last year at Columbia University (as reported also in "News of the Weird"), where doctors removed a woman's diseased gall bladder not by an abdominal incision but through her vagina. In March, doctors at UC-San Diego Medical Center removed a woman's appendix through her vagina, and a man's through his mouth. (A microscopic camera must be inserted through the abdomen, however, to guide the surgeons.) Pain and healing time are usually less than half that of ordinary surgery, but the risk of internal infection is greater. The next step, doctors say, will be removing kidneys through the anus.

Among the notable offerings at the International Exhibition of Inventions in Geneva, Switzerland, in April were beer-flavored jelly (non-alcoholic) to spread on biscuits, and artificial, removable nose hair (swabs of pipe cleaner for the nostrils to block pollen and dust). ("Most people do not have enough nose hair," inventor Gensheng Sun told The Associated Press.) Italian engineer Enrico Berruti said it was his personal laziness that led him to develop a bed that makes itself, with automatic sheet-shaking and straightening. Diane Cheong Lee Mei of China swore that her novel computer software employed algorithms sophisticated enough to enable the user to detect the gender of any e-mail writer.