Adam Ruins Weddings

Adam Ruins Weddings

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to watch Adam pull back the veil on how the wedding industry overcharges couples, why soul-mates are statistically impossible and why divorce is actually good for society. Any objections? Here are his sources.  

Sources

"Wrong again! In the U.S., weddings were originally informal events held at home or at community events like barn-raisings or corn-husking bees."

Howard, Vicki. Brides, Inc.: American Weddings and the Business of Tradition. Philadelphia: University of Pennsylvania Press, 2008. Print.

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"In those days, cleaning white fabric was practically impossible. A white dress was meant to be worn only once."

Baker, Lindsay. "The evolution of the wedding dress." BBC Culture. British Broadcasting Corporation, 5 May 2014. Web.

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"Even white wedding cakes were all about braggin'! White sugar was so expensive back then, it was basically edible bling."

Wilson, Carol. "Wedding Cake: A Slice of History." Gastronomica: The Journal of Critical Food Studies 5.2 (2005): 69-72. Web.

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"The wedding industry systematically overcharges young couples just because they can. One study found that the majority of all cake shops, photographers, and florists charge more for a wedding than they would for a birthday party of the same size."

"Do Vendors Charge More for Weddings than Other Events?" Bride.net. 18 Jul. 2010. Web.

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"Researchers at Emory University found that the more you spend on your wedding, the more likely you'll end up in divorce."

Khazan, Olga. "The Divorce-Proof Marriage." The Atlantic. Atlantic Media, 14 Oct. 2014. Web.

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"We write poems to it. We make movies about it. Heck, love is the single most common word in song lyrics."

Schnoebelen, Tyler. "We've lost that lovin' feelin'." Corpus Linguistics. 22 Apr. 2016. Web.

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"The truth is, for most of human history, love was considered a temporary emotion and had almost nothing to do with marriage. In fact, loving your spouse was once considered weird and irresponsible."

"How marriage has changed over centuries." The Week. Michael Wolfe, 1 Jun. 2013. Web.

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"In the second century, a Roman politician was expelled from the Senate for kissing his wife in public."

Howard, Vicki. Brides, Inc.: American Weddings and the Business of Tradition. Philadelphia: University of Pennsylvania Press, 2008. Print.

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"Love can have no place between husband and wife."

Capellanus, Andreas. De Amore (The Art of Courtly Love.) 12th Cent.

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"'Love considered merely a passion will naturally have but a short duration; like all other passions 'tis changeable, transient and accidental.'"

Franklin, Benjamin. Reflections on Courtship and Marriage: in Two Letters to a Friend. Wherein a Practicable Plan is laid down for Obtaining and Securing Conjugal Felicity. Philadelphia: 1746. Web.

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"Well, over a dozen skeletons were recently found in my basement! Weird but true!"

Schultz, Colin. "Why Was Benjamin Franklin's Basement Filled with Skeletons?" Smithsonian.com. Smithsonian Institution, 3 Oct. 2013. Web.

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"'To be happy in Marriage Life... you must have a soul-mate…'"

Coleridge, Samuel Taylor. "Letter to a Young Lady, 1822." Letters, Conversations, and Recollections of S.T. Coleridge, vol. II. Ed. Thomas Allsop. London: Edward Moxon, Dover Street, 1836. 86-101. Web.

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"Well, it's a metaphor that's hurting your relationship. One study found that couples who believe in soul-mates and "destiny" break up sooner than those who believe that relationships need to grow and even change."

Knee, C. Raymond. "Implicit Theories of Relationships: Assessment and Prediction of Romantic Relationship Initiation, Coping, and Longevity." Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 74.2 (1998): 360-70. Web.

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"On average, limerence only lasts between 18 months and three years."

Marshall, Andrew G. "That crazy little thing called love." The Guardian. Guardian Media Group, 13 Dec. 2003. Web.

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"Divorce rates in the United States have never reached 50 percent, and have actually gone DOWN since the 70's and 80's."

Hurley, Dan. Divorce Rate: It's Not as High as You Think. New York Times. The New York Times Company, 19 Apr. 2005. Web.

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"In the old days, if you wanted a divorce, you needed to establish that one person was entirely at fault, and the other was totally innocent."

Coontz, Stephanie. Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage. New York: Peguin, 2006. Print.

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"And it was particularly bad for women, because in many states, domestic violence wasn't considered grounds for divorce, meaning that women were trapped in abusive marriages. In some states, like Mississippi, that's still the case."

"Mississippi not adding domestic violence as grounds for divorce." The Clarion Ledger. Nathan Edwards, 21 Apr. 2016. Web.

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"But all this changed in 1969 thanks to Ronald Reagan!"

Wilcox, W. Bradford. "The Evolution of Divorce." National Affairs. National Affairs Inc., Fall 2009. Web.

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"The concept spread to other states and by some estimates, it reduced cases of female suicide by 20 percent!"

Stevenson, Betsey and Wolfers, Justin. "Bargaining in the Shadow of the Law: Divorce Laws and Family Distress." The National Bureau of Economic Research. Dec. 2003. Web.

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RONALD REAGAN: "It was greatest regret of my political career."

Stolberg, Sheryl Gay. "Reagan's Daughter Says He'd Have Backed Gay Marriage." New York Times. The New York Times Company, 3 Apr. 2013. Web.

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"Look here, idiot! Research says kids tend to do worse surrounded by constant parental conflict!"

Coiro, Mary Jo and Morrison, Donna Ruane. "Parental Conflict and Marital Disruption: Do Children Benefit When High-Conflict Marriages Are Dissolved?" Journal of Marriage and the Family 6.1 (1999): 626-637. Web.

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"I pity your sick mind! You don't even know that in many high- discord families, children experience relief after their parents separate!"

Arkowitz, Hal and Lilienfeld, Scott O. "Is Divorce Bad for Children?" Scientific American. Nature Publishing Group, 1 Mar. 2013. Web.

For More on This Topic

This in-depth post from webcomic xkcd illustrates just how mathematically bonkers the concept of "soul mates" really is.

Our expert Vicki Howard's Brides Inc.: American Weddings and the Business of Tradition is a must-read on the history of weddings, and how they became so darn commercialized.

For a history of what happens after the ceremony, Stephanie Coontz' Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage can't be beat.

…and for good measure, Amanda Foreman's longform feature for Smithsonian Magazine delves into the history of divorce.