If your weapon is stupid and weird, but it works, maybe it isn’t so stupid after all.

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From our friends at the Daily Dot: A woman in Fort Pierce, Florida, was arrested after bragging about a high-heel shoe attack on Twitter.

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From our friends at the Daily Dot: Only in Pittsburgh would a Furby make headlines. It turns out that though the stupid things won’t shut up when you’re trying to sleep, they do make a good weapon when thrown toward a person’s head at high velocity.

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Western Nebraska man Larry Spurling, 50, of Melbeta, was arrested on September 30, after police received a call from his wife saying that he had pushed her down and smushed a sandwich in her face.

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Sanford, Fla., man Michael Wayne Jones became infuriated when his girlfriend and her daughter jumped in the car with plans to go smoke some crack. So he did what any sane, level-headed adult would do: he went totally berserk, busted up her car and beat her with her own dog.

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Police in Davenport, Iowa, were called to a residence after the homeowner allegedly drove two guests, who had overstayed their welcome, out of her home — with a pooper scooper. Luckily no one was injured. Police said that while the weapon was not loaded, it was still dangerous.

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Gastonia, N.C., man Charles Maurice Talbert, 29, was having an argument with an unidentified woman over groceries— an argument that had gone on for two days. On Sunday at around 11:30 a.m., it seems that the woman, who has a prosthetic leg and is in a wheelchair, had apparently had more than enough.

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