Today we proudly present our first edition of Fetishes Unhinged, which we warn, given the nature of crime, may become a regular feature. Meet David Beckmann and Thomas Mettham, peacock and poop fetishists respectively.

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The scary part is, these are just the weird ones.

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From making a baby with a horse, to Germany’s erotic zoos, to things you never say in a job interview with law enforcement, these are the top ten bestiality arrests of 2012.

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Robert Garrow was born on March 4, 1936. Abused as a child, he grew up raping the family’s livestock and masturbating with the milking machine. He served time in prison, first for theft, then rape. After his release he was accused of sexually assaulting two little girls, and when he failed to appear in court, this budding serial killer became a fugitive from justice.

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Maybe no one explained to Andrew Mendoza of Wharton County Texas, that some things are better left unsaid, but Mendoza, who was accused of sexing up the neighbor’s horse, wanted to explain himself and so waived his right to remain silent. Having read the report, this writer really wishes he hadn’t.

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The new disturbing trend of erotic zoos has the Germans poised to reinstate bestiality laws taken off the books in 1969.

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In the second report in a month of men sexing up barnyard animals in Florida, Patrick Louis Linn was arrested on September 30, 2012, after a surveillance camera caught him having sex with a stud horse. Strangely enough, Linn knew about the security cameras, because he was caught by those same cameras, doing the same thing, in 2010.

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The accused says Florida is a "backward," state because zoophilia is frowned upon.

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An Arizona man has been arrested following an investigation into an ad he allegedly posted on Craigslist, in which he sought a “hung K9.” This is not the county’s first bestiality case in recent memory.

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Cody Slaughter must have thought his job interview with U.S. Customs and Border Protection was going really well, because he confessed to a sexual encounter with a child, 2, and three counts of bestiality during the interview.

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