Five Things Not to Do With Your Baby

Smiling in her sleep because a baby's world knows no evil. Photo: Getty Images.

There are a lot of things you can do with your baby. You can dress him up as a pumpkin, tickle his feet, feed him mashed carrots and take him for runs in one of those all-terrain strollers. There are also a lot of things you should never, ever do with your baby. These are five of those things.

Note: We’re not including the really sick stuff you sometimes see on this site. 

DON’T leave your baby on the curb with the trash.

Face it, those pesky babies require a lot of attention and sometimes you just want to chill. Mount Holly, N.C., woman Katelynne Devine had a 10-month-old son that was cramping her style, so she tried to drop him off with his dad for the night. The dad told Katelynne that he  had to get up early and couldn’t take the baby. So, Katelynne understood, took the baby in her loving arms and brought him, wrapped in a 100% cotton blanket, back to her house where all was cozy and safe.

Just kidding. Police say she left the baby on the curb outside his dad’s house, right next to the trash. The dad told police he heard a baby crying and went outside to find his son. Katelynne was charged with child neglect and released after posting $5,000 bond.

DON’T let your baby eat crack.

Another adorable baby. Photo: Getty Images.

When Andrica Daniel got out of the shower, her mother’s boyfriend Charlie Martin asked her, “Man shorty, what happened to my crack?” They looked and looked, but the crack had been eaten by the shortest shorty of all: Daniel’s 13-month-old son Jay’von Daniel. She brought the boy to the hospital, where, she told CBS Atlanta, “His blood pressure kept going up and down. He was throwing up. They ran tests on his urine. He tested positive for crack cocaine. That’s how we know he ate it.”

Palmetto, Ga., police arrested Daniel, 17, Martin, 22, and the child’s 34-year-old grandmother, Ebony Daniel. All three were charged with possession of cocaine, child cruelty and reckless conduct.  Jay’von was kept in the hospital for observation and released into the custody of the Division of Family and Children Services.

DON’T try to sell your baby. 

DO dress up your baby in crochet hats. Photo: Getty Images.

When you’ve pawned everything and run out of people to borrow from, selling your baby might seem like a great idea. After all, there are a lot of people without babies who want babies. It’s not a good idea at all, if only because kind, nurturing prospective parents aren’t likely to buy a baby in a parking lot.

Last year, police say Heidi Gasaway tried to sell her 3-day-old baby outside a Washington Taco Bell. Instead of buying the infant, the woman Gasaway allegedly approached called 911. In another case, police say a Salinas, Ca., couple tried to sell their baby for $25 in a Walmart parking lot. And that’s not all, we’ve collected 10 cases of babies for sale.

DON’T bring your baby to a bank robbery.

Look at those little feet. Photo: Getty Images.

For bank employees, Bring Your Daughter to Work Day probably entails a look at the vault, some snacks and maybe a little lesson about fiscal responsibility. For bank robbers, it means leaving the kid in the getaway car while pulling off a heist.

In Cape Cod, Mass., Gerard T. Langley, 38, and girlfriend, Lana M. Rogers, 33, were charged with two bank robberies. Police say they brought their 11-month-old daughter along on both heists; she sat in the car with Rogers while Langley handed the bank teller a note and made off with cash. The two were caught right after the second robbery. The daughter was turned over to the Department of Children and Families.

DON’T have sex in front of your baby at a park. 

DO stare at your baby adoringly as he sleeps. Photo: Getty Images.

Picture this: you chat up a guy online and make plans to meet at a local park. When you see him in person, you’re overwhelmed by desire. You must disrobe, right then and there, and put out those flames burning in your loins. The only problem is, you have a stupid baby with you. Don’t they have like, storage lockers for those things?

Cops in Los Alamitos, Ca., said 19-year-old Sarah Stringer “appeared to be having some sort of sexual relationship in public” with a guy she met online, while her baby “rested” nearby. The alleged incident took place after dark at Labourdette park, which boasts a tire swing and jungle gym. Cops say the baby appeared unkempt. The only consolation here is that at four months old, Stringer’s baby won’t retain the memory of watching mommy do the dirty at a playground. Stringer was charged with child endangerment.

Slideshow: Bad Parenting