Yesterday, we began our journey into jail house cuisine with Sweet and Spicy Coke Ramen. It turned out okay. Today, we’ll try making a dish called “Break.” The origins of the name are unclear. Is it so delicious that it provides inmates a break from the strife of big house living? Or is it so disgusting that it spurs them to make a break for it?
According to the writer of the recipe, “Break” are apparently plural and “taste a hell of a lot better than they sound.”
Two packages of Ramen? Is this jail or an all-inclusive cruise ship? I used only one, in the chicken flavor.
As per the instructions, I began by crushing the bag Doritos in my hands. Unlike yesterday’s peanuts, the chips broke apart easily and I soon had a bag of fine orange powder. While I crushed, I microwaved some water. Because the recipe did not specify how much water, I was forced to estimate and used approximately half a mug.
As soon as I poured the crushed Doritos into the hot water, my kitchen filled with a splendid aroma reminiscent of macaroni and cheese. While the chips metamorphosed into what would become a sauce, I cooked the Ramen in the microwave.
When the Ramen was cooked and drained, I gave the cheese sauce a stir and poured it into the noodles. The sauce was not as creamy as I had hoped, but blended nicely with the Ramen. I was worried that I had used too much water for the Doritos, but this was not the case. The sauce came out the consistency and color of a loose and chunky pumpkin purée. I then added the chicken flavor, which darkened the bright orange sauce but imparted a lovely complexity to the previously cheesy scent of the dish.
Like yesterday, I did not have a jail-appropriate knife, so I made do by mincing the summer sausage, or “beef stick” with my hands.
The Verdict: This dish is unbearably salty. Between the Doritos, the sausage and the chicken flavoring, there is so much sodium that one of the ingredients could easily have been replaced with something more mild. Perhaps peanuts in place of the sausage could elevate the dish into the realm of palatability.
The Dorito sauce did not cling to the noodles as a dairy-based cheese sauce would, instead gravitating to the bottom of the bowl. This was remedied in part by the curly texture of the noodles, which helped trap cheesy bits of chip.
Unlike the recipe’s writer, I would not cook this dish again. The concept of creating a sauce out of chips is an intriguing one–I am curious to try it with BBQ potato chips–but the Dorito method leaves much to be desired.
Stay tuned next time when Crime Library will be making something that involves wrapping soggy chips in a towel.
All dishes in this series come from this PDF Document, anonymously put together using recipes created by inmates.