Who would put a bullet in the oven? Florida man! Who would drive drunk with a monkey in his truck? Florida man! Who would shoot his girlfriend because he thought she was a hog? FLORIDA MAN!
He might not get your kitten out of the tree or help a blind man cross the street, but if you’re in need of some confusion and bodily harm, this Sunshine State superhero is your guy.
And long as Florida man keeps getting himself into wacky shenanigans, the Twitter account dedicated to broadcasting his latest adventures will not run out of material.
Below are a few of our favorites, all pulled from real headlines.