For most Americans, the recession hasn't ended. There are plenty of people out of work. The stock market is still a bipolar mess. Uncle Sam is up to his goatee in debt. The nation is pinching pennies to squeak by, and maybe that's a good thing?

Because last decade was a drunken orgy of a spending spree. We bought giant, expensive McMansions on credit in the suburbs because everyone in the family needed two toilets. We would eat out all the time at fancy restaurants that served "tapas," which is Spanish for "very expensive tiny plates of very little food." Americans took up golf by the millions, and that's a sport where you pay out the nose to walk around a park with a bag full of pricey toys.

Then that ended, and here we are. Hungrier, but leaner. Not completely broke, but certainly more frugal. Most Americans don't waste money the way they use to. But there are still some who insist on throwing their moolah at crapola that isn't worth the price tag. Check out our list of dumbest wastes of money! Let us know how you're saving a buck here and there.

Question: What's the difference between an "organic" head of lettuce and a "conventional" head of lettuce? Answer: About 3 bucks. Organic vegetables are basically vegetable fashion accessories that show you love to brag about how "environmentally-conscious" you are at cocktail parties.

Stupid people say "you can't win it if you're not in it." Smart people say "you can't win it."

Wanna spend good money to risk getting skin cancer in a booth, when you can risk getting skin cancer outside for free? Awesome! You're stupid twice.

Impulse buys are always a waste of money. There is no greater example of this than when a person sees a picture of fancy meat in a catalog and then MUST have that meat. Because, man, that is one pretty photo of some succulent-looking meat. Where is the sense in paying alot of money for meat you get in the mail when you could get fresher, better cuts of meat by tipping your local butcher?

If you get a dog from a shelter, you rescue an animal, and it's free. But by all means, pay hundreds of dollars to a puppy mill, but only if you hate animals as much as you hate money. Why save a little puppy when you can own a mass-produced, inbred one.

When I was a kid, cigarettes used to cost less than 2 dollars. I mean, you'd pay at the back end, thanks for medical bills, and the whole "lost wages after you die" thing, but now it's even stupider. Thanks to rising cigarette taxes nationwide, you pay up front too. A pack of cigarettes in New York City can run you almost 12 bucks.

The crack of the bat! The roar of the crowd! Beers cost 9 bucks! Traffic's a nightmare! You can't afford to bring your whole family! The cost of Pro Sports tickets are artificially inflated so corporate D-bags can impress their disinterested clients! Sports on High Def TV is great! Why would you ever leave your couch?! No, seriously, why?

Going into a coffee shop and paying 5 dollars for a cup of something that should by all rights cost less than a buck is bad enough. But when you add syrup, whipped cream, espresso shots and heaven knows what else, there is a billionaire CEO somewhere laughing at you. All the way to the bank. Remember: coffee is just a caffeine delivery vehicle.

The champagne room is where strippers make suckers pay more money for what they were already getting in the strip club. As Chris Rock once sang, "there is no sex in the champagne room." Well, maybe for Chris Rock there is. But there definitely isn't for you.

If you buy a full price bottle at a liquor store and think, "this would be better if it was smaller and more expensive" the mini bar is just right for you.

Everyone knows you're old. Paying good money to look weird and old isn't helping anything. Plastic surgery is butchery. It doesn't make you look better, it makes you look like someone cut your face open, pulled the slaps, and stitched it all back together. Your skin might look smoother, but leather suitcases are also smooth. Not to mention that plastic surgery is expensive like real surgery, only there are not any healthy benefits.

It's not bad enough that movie candy comes in packages so large that it would take a normal sized human being 4 movie screenings to finish it, but it is wildly overpriced. Also, you're an adult. Do you really need candy to watch a movie?

This is only a wise use of money if you decided on this instead of the whole "revolver with one bullet" route. You're playing with your life here. Not to mention, buying condoms in bulk, cowboy, is just more cost effective. Carry them around with you on the off chance that you get lucky.

Perhaps the greatest swindle ever perpetuated upon the fairer sex has been that a woman's haircut should cost at least 5 times what men pay. For women, that battle is lost. But men, there's still hope. It's called a barber shop, and it's just fine. Let's not mess up a good thing, OK ?

Here's a money saving tip: if you're chubby, go jog. It's free.

You ever heard the expression "the house always wins?" Well it does. Oh, one more thing: YOU ARE NOT THE HOUSE.

If your boss buys your ticket, I guess it's worth it. If not, you're paying 600 bucks for a hot towel and a curtain. The first class section is just the "hey look at me, I spent more money than you on the same flight" section. Save money, sit with the rabble and eat the pretzels.

Fancy cocktails, bottle service, and top shelf liquor in the finest bars, have less to do with quality than vanity. That's why we're a lot cooler than you, cause we're out here on the curb brownbagging a 40 of Crazy Horse. Drinking alcohol is about one thing: getting a buzz. Cut out the pricey middleman and order two fingers of "brown-flavored liquor."

You don't need a car that big. You. Just. Don't. Why? Because if you really needed a car that big, you'd have a pickup truck. Once upon a time, it might have been the "cool" thing to drive around in a neutered tank, but is showing off how much credit you have really "cool" anymore?

Air Jordans used to be cool, but let's face facts. In 2011, Michael Jordan is a 48-year-old underwear salesman. Stop paying 200 bucks for sneakers. They won't help you fly, no matter how much you clap.

The reason you don't buy a baby a 75 dollar shirt is the same reason you don't but one for a college kid. They don't care either way, and will likely throw up on it.

Planes are expensive, but fast. Buses are cheap, but slow. Trains are expensive and slow. Got it?

Blue jeans became classic because they were the dependable, affordable pants of the working man. Here's a tip, if you paid enough for your jeans that you are reluctant to wipe pizza grease on them, then they aren't jeans. That's what jeans are for.

If you want to spend more money on an outdoor grill than it costs for an indoor kitchen, why not just order out?