2. The "personal trainer" racket

Gyms usually offer a "free session with a personal trainer" when you sign up. If you take that free session, your personal trainer , a smug Adonis, will basically tell you what you already know: you're a butterball. They will then tell you that for an exorbitant amount of money, they can, maybe, help turn you from a giant orca whale into a slightly svelter walrus. You will roll your eyes, and then, later, you will crave their approval.