Airplanes are flying germ tubes full of human beings at their worst.

Flying used to be among the most cosmopolitan of undertakings. The high adventure of man's dominance of the heavens, the feeling of self-importance upon checking in, the élan of in-flight fraternization.

Now air travel is a bloody struggle for resources and sanity from the moment you log on to Expedia. After you've spent nine hours online to save $15 in airfare, you trundle through the automatic doors of Terminal 4, and that's when things get Hotel Rwanda.

If you've flown just once in your life, you've contemplated all manner of 'cides, sui- and mass homi- included. You've also experienced every one of the following 15 dumbest drawbacks to air travel. –Jordan Burchette