Champagne

The tradition: Drinking glorified French soda that will get you buzzed and smells like old socks.

Why it's dumb: You pay a premium for a wicked hangover. It is the last choice drink of men, after motor oil. Plus the conveyance device - the champagne flute -- makes anyone look like a dink because it's too small to actually drink out of. Where ya supposed to put your nose at?