The Passion of the Pharmacy

The tradition: Every year drug stores across the nation get horny, festooning aisles usually reserved for dusty cans of soup and enema kits with miles of cards, heart-shaped boxes of chocolate and plush animals holding signs that say "I love you."

Why it's dumb: Why would someone coming in to pick up ear wax remedies and tampons suddenly start feeling the love? It's bad enough that these drug stores practically bully you into buying Valentine's Day crap, but who wants to receive a gift that was obviously purchased last minute by a loved one shopping for suppositories?