Party hard, but party safe

The word "break" in "Spring Break" shouldn't refer to legs, condoms or the bank. Every year, millions of college students embark on a sacred pilgrimage to beaches all over our fair hemisphere. It's a sacred ritual where America's best and brightest nobly sacrifice all of the brain cells that were holding onto to the precious information learned during the bleak, boring winter months. At Spring Break, anything goes. Wear a thong on your head? Do it. Fill a water gun with Tequila? Why not? Dance like no one is looking? They are looking and probably taking pictures, but who cares?

You've earned the break, kiddos. But whatever you do, don't become one of those "Spring Break" stories that everyone tells. You know, the stories about drunks falling from balconies, frat boys crying in Mexican jails and young women just making poor life choices in general. The good news is it's really easy to avoid becoming a statistic. First, remember kindergarten. The "buddy system" works on the playground and at da club. Two wasted minds are better than one wasted mind. Actually, if you do the math, two wasted minds actually equal one semi-sober mind... and some pretty serviceable decisions can made with one of those.