Heidi Montag & Spencer Pratt

It's a wonder that these fading reality celebutards haven't conveniently released a sex tape in order to stay in the public eye. Especially seeing as good ol' Spence spread that rumor over Lauren Conrad's nonexistent naughty vid. (Oh, how I miss the dramarama from The Hills.) Sadly, the manic Speidi duo will probably never go that route, seeing as Heidi's once-hot-bod is ruined courtesy of numerous plastic surgery scars.

Proposed Sex Tape Title: Heidi's Hills