The Week In Conspiracies: Dancing With The Scars
Gov't Testing Mind Control On TV Stars?
Last Wednesday, Judge Judy made headlines for doing something other than scream in a very shrill voice.
The incomparable legal mind walked out of a taping of her hit TV show early to go the hospital, having reportedly been rambling incoherently during a taping. That's right, Judge Judy's own tongue was giving her sass, and she was incapable of scolding it into bashful submission. But Ol' Acid Tongue was only the latest in a spate of on-air personalities whose on-air meltdowns might be the result of a sinister mind-control test.
One popular theory blames the babble barrage on alleged government tests of microwave mind-control technology. If that sounds utterly ridiculous to you, it's because you're not presently high as balls. However, these occurrences are happening frequently enough to make me wonder, if not the government, what then?
The eerie trend hit its peak last month when CBS reporter Serene Branson's post-Grammy remote segment turned into an unwatchable freak-out, prompting fears she might've had a stroke. Back in January, Wisconsin reporter Sarah Carlson delivered a report on healthcare reform in a language more suited to a Pentecostal church service.
Carlson claimed to have a health condition that might explain the sudden loss of speech: she has a "history of seizures" that she strangely left off her TV-reporter resume. The others didn't fess up to anything worse than a migraine.
While it's weird and disturbing and a pretty big coincidence, I'm not sure I buy that it's the result of some kind of microwave mind control experiment. If such microwave technology exists, it's apparently very much in the beta testing stage based on the effect it had on these four lab rats. I would hope that the end-goal for such a technology would be something more useful than making a local news anchor talk like a baby.
Supposing the government did intend to use these TV personalities to disseminate some kind of message to the populace, what sort of audience were they trying to reach with these particular puppets? With Judge Judy, you're hitting the unemployed. You have two local news reporters, which gets you the elderly. Then you have one Canadian news reporter, which gets you (shudder) the Canadian elderly.
I just don't see our current government having any interest in using their fake mind-control gadgetry to talk to that kind of riffraff. I'm going with migraine.
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- Gov't Testing Mind Control On TV Stars?