He Was Already Dead
Then there are the contrarians who say not only has Kim gone to his eternal rest, but has actually been sleeping since 2008, if not 2003. Since we are all blinded by Kim Jong-Il's dictator chic fashion sense, it would be easy enough to slap any rotund Korean in a beige jumpsuit and pass him off as the Dear Leader from a distance. The real Kim had purportedly suffered from epilepsy his entire life. A particularly violent fit may have caused his death as early as 2003. If he managed to survive, reports have been confirmed that he suffered a stroke in 2008 and has rarely been seen in public since then.